The Stranger At Home – Alcohol Abuse in the Family

Have you ever had a house guest who wouldn’t leave? Someone who wore out their welcome, but couldn’t take the hint? Eventually, they finally go home and leave you in peace, because it’s your house, not theirs. However, when a family member suffers from Alcohol Abuse Disorder, that person can become virtually a stranger in the house — like an unwanted guest, except that this time it’s their house, too.

Alcohol addiction in one family member impacts the rest. The consequences of the disorder doesn’t stay contained within a single person. The condition affects how the sufferer acts around others, externalizing the problem and creating new problems. The family unit soon experiences chaos and dysfunction as that member neglects responsibilities, creates financial burdens, or engages in violent behavior causing physical and emotional trauma.

In a way, the disorder becomes a “member of the family.” It can be an alarming situation because now the loved one has been replaced by an unwelcome stranger, and the stressed-out family members resent that stranger’s ongoing presence. The disorder can tear a family apart spawning long-term negative consequences, including mental health disorders such as trauma, anxiety and depression.

Most families want to preserve their relationship with the alcoholic loved one.

They want to “fix the problem,” but they don’t know how. This is incredibly hard when the alcoholic member refuses to acknowledge that they have a problem. Many try to minimize the issue and downplay the results. After all, they might say, drinking at home is common in most parts of the world, which is true. The University of Buffalo’s Clinical and Research Institute on Addiction did a study showing the statistics of married couples who drink. However, while most experience few negative consequences, relationships can turn sour when one partner begins to drink heavily. Standard outcomes include aggression, discontent with the relationship, and a full spectrum of abusive behaviors. It’s no wonder that alcohol abuse is a leading cause of divorce or separation.

As hard as having an alcoholic partner can be, it often is harder on the kids, placing them at greater risk of experiencing their own future dilemmas.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, one of four children will be exposed to living with a close family member who suffers from an alcohol-related problem. Children of alcoholics are up to four times more likely to become adult alcoholics. Children who suffer domestic abuse during their developmental years are more prone to be fearful or aggressive and violent when they grow up. Other data shows that children of alcohol abusers tend to be neglected more and live in hardship conditions due to financial problems. This can lead to feelings of self-blame or embarrassment, leading to withdrawal, isolation, misbehavior, and poor academics in school. In the most extreme circumstances, children of alcoholics can even experience self-harm and suicidal tendencies.

An unwanted house guest may be a nuisance, but it’s nothing compared to an alcoholic family member.

It’s important to remember, though, that underneath their “stranger-like” actions, they are a suffering loved one in desperate need of help. Without professional help, they aren’t able to break free from the disorder that has taken over their lives. Left untreated, their addiction can create a cycle of harm passed down to the next generation. However, with the proper treatment and counseling, those suffering from alcoholism can return to normalcy and be a loving, caring part of the family once again.

If you or someone you care about, has an ongoing history of alcohol or substance use and/or relapse, contact Gulf Breeze Recovery or call: 833.551.2356 to speak to an addiction expert to learn more about their residential program, out-patient program, and intensive out-patient program, and which of these can best fit your individual needs.  These programs have helped many people overcome their addiction and embrace their new happy, healthy, substance-free lifestyle.

We help people not just to survive, but to THRIVE!