Sometimes I think of my family as the cautionary tale of many of life’s choices and consequences. But all in all, I hope that my children will learn more from what I have done in spite of my struggles than what my struggles were. Here are three things that I intend to teach my children to help them develop into resilient and self-actualized individuals.

1. Don’t think of yourself as a victim. There will be times when someone may tell you, or it sincerely appears that you are a victim. The second that you choose to view yourself as the victim you will have given up your power. Anytime something unpleasant happens in your life, there will always be a circumstance or someone else there to blame. Take a look in the mirror; you have the power within to take on life’s problems. If you make a mistake, evaluate and try again. Success in life depends solely on how you view and react to it. Confidence in yourself will broaden the more you have faith in your ability to solve problems. If you need to enlist some help, that’s okay. At the end of the day, know that circumstances and situations are ultimately an opportunity to learn and grow, which will benefit you in the future.
2. “You create your experiences.” These were wise words from my mother. As I experimented on these words, I came to realize that this was a real and universal principle. From awkward square dancing in the 7th grade to the transition from working to motherhood, I had learned the value of placing my mark on my experiences so that they no longer happened to me, but rather that I created them. This understanding has benefitted me in ways that I could have never predicted.
3. This too shall pass. While I usually don’t use this one, it has been a helpful phrase during some unique and challenging seasons of my life. When I had my first child, there were times when I thought I had doomed myself to forever changing diapers and waking at night to comfort sad children. While there were times when I loved these moments, there were also times that I wondered when my time, space and body could be my own again. It wasn’t until I recognized that this was simply a season of my life which will one day be gone forever that I was able to not only bear the situation but even cherish it.

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