When someone mentions “Rehab” ask yourself: are you the frog in the pool that could use a hand?
In the mornings, before the rush of the day begins and lunches have to be packed, and buses have to be met, I like to sit out by the pool for a few minutes alone. It gives me time to wake up, a few moments to reflect on my week, and allows me to take stock of myself before I begin my morning.
Usually, I find that a hapless frog has wondered into our pool at some point during the night, and if he’s still alive, he spends a fair amount of time struggling to get towards the edge so he can climb to safety. For whatever reason, most of them can’t grab the wall themselves. Maybe it’s too slippery, or they misjudge the current of the pool pumps, but I can’t watch them flail around alone without feeling the need to provide some assistance. I grab a pool net and gently direct it beneath them to lift them to safety.
I have yet to help a frog that immediately hopped onto my net, however, even though it is apparent to me that it would provide safety and freedom that much quicker and avoid drowning. No, the frogs always appear to see my looming net coming towards them and do the opposite of relaxing into their rescue —they freak out. Finally, I outmaneuver them, and they are delivered safely to dry land.
Sometimes humans make the same mistake as my waterlogged frogs. Without the benefit of the larger perspective, we sometimes mistake the help or advice that our loved ones are trying to give as something to avoid rather than the thing that could save our lives or just save our day. Especially when we are caught up in the current of our own “pool” of thinking, it can be hard to see that anyone else could be right. Maybe we think that accepting help means we are weak or not independent enough. Maybe receiving support gives us flashbacks to being 12 and having overbearing parents. Maybe it’s that our culture puts so much emphasis on individualism it seems foreign to let others give advice, throw out a lifeline, or even hold our hand.
Accepting help may mean letting go of the idea that you’ve “got this on your own.”
Accepting help may mean letting go of the self-assured stance that you’ve got this on your own, dealing with the anxiety of letting someone get close, and allowing them to get personal with you. It may mean just understanding that you may not be able to see your situation as well as someone from the outside can…and it can mean all the difference if that help gives you the strength you need to get out of a terrible relationship, deal with emotional losses, or admitting that your addiction is out of control.
So do you have to accept all help that is offered? Of course not. But even if the advice provided to you is not what you need, you should at least consider what the person is saying to you by offering. To them, it may seem that you’re flailing. Maybe they see the salvation at the side of the pool that you are close to, and they just want to offer directions, or they see you sinking into the deep end without you realizing it. It’s possible that they don’t know the whole story, and you’ve got it handled…but still take a moment to consider that someone who cares about you has seen enough warning signs to speak up, and be grateful they passed on the message.
When someone offers guidance or assistance, ask yourself if you’re the frog in the pool that could use a hand.
Gulf Breeze Recovery offers a non-traditional approach to addiction in a beautiful setting overlooking Pensacola Beach. Their pool overlooks Pensacola Bay and is thankfully frog-free.
If you or a loved one are struggling with drug or alcohol addiction call us at 833.551.2356 for more information about how
Gulf Breeze Recovery could help you or your loved ones today.