How a GBR graduate restored his serenity and avoided relapse!
Monday night could have been a nightmare: about 4pm I was sitting in Little Italy enjoying a nice meal when the rain hit. I looked at the weather on my phone, and it showed severe weather for the next few hours. We purchased a couple of cheap umbrellas, walked to the station, boarded the train, and waited about an hour for the tracks to clear from the rain. We were running late. After picking up our luggage, we walked to catch the E train to Kennedy and just missed it.
Waited another 20 minutes. The next train kept stopping for the same reasons (water on tracks), and we barely made it to the AirTrain to Kennedy. Running into the airport with minutes to spare we noticed the security line was exceptionally long. Fortunately, our plane was delayed a bit, so there was still time. After making it through security, the delay was increased to two hours.
Exhausted we sat in a sports bar and my significant other ordered a drink. For the first time since leaving GBR I felt jealous. It was extremely uncomfortable. I looked to the departure board and we were delayed another hour. I was bottoming out.
Fortunately I realized that my awareness was way off so I stood up and walked around the airport. I knew my thoughts were not quality and told myself NOT to give them a life of their own. Instead I simply got into the moment and observed. I saw thousands of people leaving the airport because their flights were cancelled. I empathized with their situation and realized I was better off. For the moment, my plane was not cancelled, I was sober, and all this would pass.
I thought about my life free from the booze cycle and relaxed. Minutes later I was back in the sports bar ordering an iced tea. My awareness had returned and serenity was once again restored.
We finally boarded the plane at 2:30am and made it home. Looking back it was a wonderful day including the few moments of jealousy. I overcame my thoughts by simply letting them go. I am thankful for the program at GBR, which continues to dominate my life, moment by moment — and the bad stuff is just an off moment; nothing more, no less. I truly owe my life to this new awakening.
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